Let’s be real, moms hit the floor running every morning. Between getting kids to the bus stop (on-time, with lunch & snack, water bottles, and homework in tow), prepping meals, conquering the never-ending mountain of laundry, and tuck-in time, do you ever feel like you’re just… barely hanging on? 

Oh, and then add in the constant highlight reel blasting into our faces from our Instagram and Pinterest accounts. Image after image of picture-perfect vacations, home designs that would make Martha Stewart self-conscious, boss-babes with flat abs and six figure income, and scenes of tranquil, well-behaved children weaving organic, home-grown, sustainable cotton into a tapestry worthy of display in the Louvre. 

And we hear the voice that plagues us night and day. The voice that whispers, “your life isn’t like this. That means it’s less.” That nasty feeling in the pit of our stomach of guilt for not having it ALL together ALL the time. 

Friend, I see you. I’ve been there. (And sometimes I am still there.)

But what if I told you that the most profoundly beautiful and soul-deep connections aren’t waiting on a white sand beach painted with the sunset? What if they were actually dancing right in front of you, every single day? 

This post is a warm invitation to weary moms to take a deep breath, to grab that cup of coffee that needs reheated for the 5th time today, sit down and rediscover the genuine joy and wonder that is found in the smallest details of your everyday life hiding in plain sight. 

Because, let me tell you, as a family photojournalist, I’ve seen it. It’s there. And it’s AMAZING. 

Reclaiming Presence and Connection

The True Cost of Rushing

Our days are busy. Sometimes by necessity, sometimes by choice. How many tiny smiles, silly dances, or big eyed discoveries slip by us unnoticed in our hurry? These precious and life-giving moments are sometimes the greatest fuel for persevering through the truly tough moments we all experience as parents.

This pace almost invariably leads to burnout. Our daily experience of constant “doing” takes a heavy toll on our joy and well-being. 

We need to recalibrate. To redefine the “rich” life. 

Redefining What is Truly Rich

Our lives are not lived in milestone events like birthdays and the holidays. Those are wonderful things to be sure, but the quiet consistent rhythm of family life is where the real magic plays out. These genuine connections are forged, deepened, and strengthened in the ordinary everyday. And where these bonds exist, magic abounds. 

Our Kids Can Show Us the Way

Guess what. Your kids are already there! Just watch them for a few minutes. See how they explore a puddle like it’s the ocean, how they notice the intricate patterns on a cicada’s wings, the pure delight on their face as they chase a bubble riding the breeze. 

Our children have wonder written into their DNA. Grown ups do too! It just gets lost sometimes in the chaos. 

I’ve got great news though, you can reclaim that wonder. I’m going to help show you how!

Shifting Your Lens. Give Your Mindset a Makeover

Before we can get into practicals, we have to start with a mindset makeover. 

Ditch the “Perfect” Narrative

First, dismantle the social media mythos. Every time you open Instagram, remind yourself that what you are seeing is a highlight reel of someone else’s life. These pictures were carefully selected to display the best moments in the best way. Not to mention, no two families are the same. Each has its own unique dynamics, status, struggles, and abundance. 

So, train your mind to see that the narratives on social media are meant to show an ideal not always to document real family life. Then remember, your real life is where the magic really is. Because it’s genuine. It’s true. It’s you. However messy, loud, or “imperfect” it may seem, the authenticity of everyday life beats a highlight reel every time.

Redefining Beautiful

Next, we need to redefine “beautiful”.

I want to challenge you to look beyond mere aesthetics. Dig deeper to how the scenes of your life feel. How it feels when your toddler reaches his little hand for yours unprompted. Or how you smile to yourself when you hear the raucous laughter that arises from the living room. What about the warmth of a fire with your favorites all gathered around, covered in stickiness from s’mores? 

These are the things that linger with us. The organic moments that create the most beautiful memories. It’s because these are the times that our genuine connections shine brightest. The unique soul of your family is on full display, in a way that only you can. 

Beauty is found beyond pretty surroundings or mountaintop experiences. Beauty as a feeling is so much stronger, and is found right under our very noses. 

The Power of Contentment

To complete our mindset makeover, I cannot commend the exercise of contentment enough. Contentment turns whatever we have into enough.

It’s more than simply being grateful for what we have and experience, though that is certainly part. Being content takes our gratitude and turns it into peaceful satisfaction. It actually allows us to rest in the “enoughness” of our life. 

We can be freed from the hamster wheel of comparison that often steals our joy and find rest when we choose to be content. Contentment gives us clearer eyes to see all the wonder and delight hidden in plain sight.  

Ditch the social media pressure: It’s a highlight reel, not real life. Your real life is better.

Practical Strategies for Slowing Down and Observing

Bearing in mind our mindset shifts of dismantling the social media mythos of “perfection”, redefining “beautiful” as more than aesthetics, but real feeling, and seeing our life through the lens of contentment, we can now implement some practical strategies.

Create Micro-Moments of Pause

Life is busy. I think we established that well in the beginning. (I think I just heard my dryer buzz.) So, I don’t want to add to the busy-ness. In fact, just the opposite. I want to give you strategies that you can implement at any point in the day and will bring a sense of presence and peace in the midst of the busy. 

In that vein, begin to train yourself to pause for 60 seconds. Use this time to cycle through your five senses. Notice 5 things with your eyes. The way the light is drifting through the trees into your home, dancing along the floor. Or the colors of the toys left out from playtime. 

Then, turn your attention to the sounds. List 4 things you can hear. Laughter, a lawn mower’s hum, a birdsong drifting on the breeze. 

What are 3 things you can feel? The velveteen softness of a stuffed animal, the warmth of the sun on your face, or maybe even the gentle tug of a little hand on your shirt. 

Smell 2 things. The fresh air, the smoke of a fire, your favorite candle perfuming the air. 

Finally, taste something. Honestly, sometimes this one reminds me that I need to eat something. But perhaps your coffee is on the counter nearby, forgotten temporarily, take a sip. Or take a pull of water tinged with lemon. 

Really take a moment to savor those sensations. You might even notice that your nervous system settles down as you actively take stock of the way you are feeling and sensing.

Another opportunity to create a micro-moment of pause is to pause and pray or take a few deep breaths when you transition between major tasks in the day. Whether that’s picking kids up from school, starting dinner, or heading out to run errands, breathing or praying can ready your body for the next chapter of your day to begin and help you close the previous door for the time-being. 

Practice Intentional Presence with Your Kids

Intentional presence with our kids is one of the single most impactful things in their life, and in ours. It’s a powerful investment into the genuine connections that bring the greatest delight and joy. 

Try starting some “Undivided Attention” blocks. These are periods of time where you engage with your children without having your phone(s) in the same room. Studies have shown that even having our phones in the same room as us limits our focus and presence.

Put your phone in a separate room, or even lock it in your car, and do something with your kids for at least 10 minutes. Try to work up to an hour of completely phone-free interaction with your children. This could be play, employing their help with what you’re doing, or having a good conversation full of open-ended questions. 

A great built-in time to do this is while sharing the dinner meal. Sometimes schedules make this very difficult but, for many, dinnertime is the perfect space to connect deeply with one another. Share highlights from the day, talk through challenges, laugh together and enjoy one another’s presence.

For parents of younger children in particular, take some phone-free time to simply watch your child. What do they find fascinating? What stories are they creating and acting out? What do they like building or exploring? Pay attention to the way their little voice sounds, any sweet foibles or “isms” they have, and commit it to memory. It changes so fast. 

Get Outside and Breathe the Fresh Air Together

Time outside is one of the healthiest things for a human being in general. Fresh air, sunshine, physical movement, it’s all vital to our bodies and souls. It’s also an untapped outlet for slowing down and being present. 

So, go outside and take a walk. Whether that’s with the whole family or solo, leave the phone at home and pay attention to what you see and feel and smell and hear. Turn it into a scavenger hunt with the kids. Look for the colors of the rainbow, have everyone pick out a cool rock or leaf, try to imitate the sounds of the birds or bugs. Walk at the kid’s pace. Not everything has to move fast. (That was a preach to myself moment!)

Embrace the elements too. Part of real life is less than ideal weather. Remember, beauty is not found only on a beach in Fiji with the sun sparkling on the crystal clear water, it is found in everyday life. Sometimes, everyday life gives you a grey, drizzly day. Grab an umbrella or rain jacket, and feel the mist on your face. Taste a snowflake that falls onto your tongue. Laugh with your kids when they stomp in a giant puddle during a summer storm. Grab a blanket and sit out on the porch when the weather is crisp and breathe deeply. You don’t need to wait for a perfectly sunny day to enjoy being outside. 

Your body and soul will thank you, and you’ll feel the pace of life slow down when you get outside. 

Make it Fun! Be Your Own Family Photojournalist for a Week

A really fun way to begin implementing the mindset makeover and practicals is to be your own family photojournalist for a week! No camera required.

Did you ever see the episode of The Office when Jim and Pam finally get married? As they got ready for the wedding, they talked about taking mental pictures. Pam would hold her hands up and press an imaginary shutter with her finger. “Click”. 

So, take a week or even a few days, and take mental photos in your mind. You can even go so far as to ask yourself, like my dear client Theresa does, “if Rachel were here, what would she capture right now?” Then, “click”. Notice as much as you can about what you’re looking at. 

What little details are there that tell the story of this moment in this day in this stage of life? What “imperfections” make this scene totally genuine to your family? The messy hair of your toddler, the remnants of a fort draped through the living room, or the sink full of dishes after a family dinner. These add to the story and make it really yours. 

Being a family photojournalist for yourself for even a few days will give you a new perspective and ability to slow down, savor, and discover the marvelous joy all around you.

Your Real Life, Your Genuine Joy, Your Stunning Masterpiece

The most magical memories are the ones that are sprinkled throughout the day, like chocolate chips in a cookie. And we all feel the truth of this in our bones. That’s why, when we see Instagram perfect highlight reels, we feel that something is amiss. 

The great news is that we have the ability to tune ourselves back into these precious connections.

I am the first to admit that it’s not always easy. Like any skill, it takes cultivation and practice to be present and notice the joyous details of everyday life. Heck, I’m a family photojournalist and have to practice this in my own life regularly. However, I am sure that as you put in the effort, this daily magic will be easier and easier to spot. 

Remember, slowing down and reveling in a small moment of delight is not simply a way to find joy for yourself, it sets an example for your children as well. As they observe you, they’ll learn the invaluable lesson of gratitude and how to be really present. The world will only grow louder, I’m afraid. Modeling how to get quiet and notice the beauty in the relationships and soul-deep connections at home will help us and the next generation avoid unhelpful comparison and rushing through each day. 

The incredible stories you are living every day are told in the laughter that echoes down the hall, the fit of your child’s hand in yours, the messy countertop where a meal was prepared, and in those sweet moments you share with one another. The organic joy and genuine delight that permeates these moments is what I live for as a documentary family photographer. 

You can always connect with me to commit those precious memories to photographs. I’d love nothing more!

Embrace the beauty of your genuine life and soul-level connections, and let me show you just how stunning it really is!